A Rant of All Shapes and Sizes

This whole week has just been kind of rotten. I was sick for most of it and had absolutely no inclination to do anything. Things were tolerable on Monday, slumped on Tuesday, bottomed out at the end of Wednesday, and just kind of stayed there until today. Today started out decent and then sank beneath rock bottom for a while. I don’t much feel like going into the details about that, but suffice to say my final work shift could’ve ended on a much happier note than it did.

I don’t often reach this kind of low. I’m generally on a fairly even-keel every day. I don’t have manic highs or lows. I’m just kind of…there. Sounds kind of depressing, but it’s really not. It’s not like I’m miserable or anything. I’m just going from day to day, somehow managing to not lose my sanity amidst the stress I go through – and that’s a surprisingly large amount.

The “light” stress is school. And although my performance of late hasn’t been up to snuff, I’m generally not such a terrible student. I attend my classes fairly consistently, usually offer insightful commentary, and turn in decent work. I’m not stellar all the time, but I’d definitely say I’m average. And I’m fine with that.

Like I said, that’s the light stress. The rest of it comes from several other personal issues. The main one, to me at least, is finances – which I have little of. I spend most of my spare time working to pay the school. Between doing my work-study for Dining Services and working weekends at Target, I find it very surprising I don’t have more grey hairs on my head. And about 90% of it goes back to Mount Mercy. What doesn’t, goes to pay my phone bill and credit cards. For example, I was saving up to buy a new laptop. The one I have is finicky and likes to pull crazy stunts on me when I’m trying to do important work. Like, say, homework or sending important emails or downloading important documents so that I can do HOMEWORK. I had over $200 saved for that purpose. I was gonna buy a brand new laptop from Best Buy for about $300 to $400. Instead, I decided to make a massive payment to Mount Mercy so I wouldn’t be crushed under more debt. Next massive paycheck from Dining Services will be going the same route.

My weekends are rarely relaxing and my weeks are packed – except for Thursdays and evenings. And by the time I hit evening, I’m so wired and needing distraction that I don’t feel tired until about midnight. And most days, I’m awake before 7 am because of work or appointments or needing to do some last minute homework that I couldn’t get to the night before. So. I manage to accomplish everything that I do on a daily basis with less than 6 hours of sleep on average. I nap on Fridays after I’m done working in the kitchen because I wouldn’t manage to get through working at Target otherwise.

And you know what? I actually started writing this post to say that I really enjoyed the school play tonight and it made the whole rotten week a lot better. It’s called “Over the River and Through the Woods” by Joe DiPietro. Yes, this massive rant was done for the sole purpose of saying that. I really know how to beat around the bush, don’t I? I might write some sort of review about the play in another post. A post that is less whining and more “I have important things to say.” Or I’ll just make another whiney post. We’ll see.


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